First order of things, “Get back to work!” — Second order of things, “We just hired you!!” — Third order of things? FREE Whiskey, Billiards, and back-massages for all employees… NOW?! With all the facts (that we’ve just made up) out of the way, it’s time for us to ask you, for your help and consideration. For you see, we have reached this point, this place where we just don’t know exactly what to do about anything, about everything, about something.

This is where you come in…

Help us have direction, a perspective, many directions?? Help us achieve diversity, difference, and indifference (all at once). Help us become engaging beyond what we dream, dreamed, or ever deem possible.

In your reply below, do one item from the list displayed; help us start things off with a bang:

1. Ask us something funny

2. Ask us something serious

3. Tell us a joke

4. Tell us something scary

5. Share a conspiracy involving avocados and beer

6. Tell us in two sentences why you should be president of the planet Jupiter

7. Tell us about the time you ate so much food, the grocery store placed a ban on you (similar to the ban a casino puts on Blackjack card-counters)

Throughout the coming months, we’ll be taking the answers and turning them into everything from hilarious social-media posts to unlikely blog-topics.

Welcome to your new-year, soldier!


Tell the Universe! Now!!

23 thoughts on “HELP WANTED: “YOU’RE HIRED?!””

  1. I was sleeping in my cabin in the forest and some weird sound woke me up. On the corner of the window I saw something staring at me and I fell from my bed. Went to the living room to pick my phone from my charger and I saw another one staring at me. For my reason my cheap phone was not charging so it was flat and I could not make any call. Heard a few knocks on the door and I ran all the way to the bedroom and locked my self inside. I hid under the bed until the knocks stopped. I was found next day by family members having locked myself in the bedroom. That was the scariest night ever and I have never told anybody till now. To confirm what I saw I went outside and found footprints that don’t belong to any creature in this world.

  2. If Donald Tramp was elected as the president of the world I am most suited to rule Jupiter. Also my name is Retipuj which is Jupiter spelled backwards.

  3. We are in this place where rediscovering is a must. Since change is the only permanent in this world, we are here to temporary adjust to the changes the life brings.

  4. I woke up in the middle of my sleep, I wasn’t dreaming at all but I really felt that someone was sleeping beside me since that side of the bed was lopsided. I shrugged it off thinking I must be half a sleep but then the depression in that bed sort of leaned closer to me….

  5. They said that there’s a winged man eating chickens in our province. I don’t believe it but some people here claim they’ve seen him.

  6. I tell you something creepy. My sister was sleeping and when she woke up, she saw this giant , black guy with red eyes looking down at her. It was a Filipino mythical creature called Kapre. My poor sister dashed out of the room and called our Mom. When she came into the room to check, the Kapre was gone.

  7. Why i should be the president of Jupiter you ask? Well the thing is i have rings in almost every finger on both my hands . So I should be the president of Jupiter because this will make me the RING leader.Lol

  8. Imagine walking in an ally at night and the streets light all illuminating the way. Then all of a sudden when your half way down the alley the street lights ahead of you start going off one after the other until the entire ally is all dark. Now that’s scary.

  9. Why should I be the president of Jupiter? Well, I can organize all the aliens in any language. This, perhaps is a joke. Hehe

  10. I should be president of Jupiter because I made all the Yagos that fly in Jupiter. They are my brain child. They feed on my inspiration.

  11. I will tell you something serious. There are seven days in a week. There are fifty-two weeks in a year and twelve months in each year.

  12. I’m the perfect president of Jupiter because I shine like a diamond and it’s raining diamonds in the clouds of Jupiter 🙂 Hahaha

  13. I can still clearly remember when I was about 8 years old. It’s 3 o’ clock in the afternoon, yep 3 PM. There’s this flat and pitch-black human figure in our window. I’m 100% sure that there’s no way that there’s a cardboard in there. It stayed there from some time and after I blink again, it’s gone.

  14. One time I remember eating with my family and was talking much. My mum asked me to shut my big mouth. So I ate with my mouth shut. Anyway, how do you eat with your mouth shut?

  15. I remember a few tears back when I was so caught up with eating that I ordered an XL pizza with a two litre soda. Boy I cant walk from being so full after that for a while.

  16. I do not really get what you are going for here but, Why should I be president of Jupiter? Well perhaps because I am awesome ha ha.

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